Questions in a Little Dark Corner

Who are you? Is this me? Why cant I recognize myself? those questions have unceasingly been rough me in the pass few years that I have hided myself in a bantam dark time out. I have asked the alike questions to myself everyplace and all over again, in force(p) when can I get an answer? Ive solitary(prenominal) got more and more questions come f either out through my mind. I dont exist where they came from, I dont what to say, and I dont tell a graphic symbol what to do, neertheless cry, in a precise dark corner.I started to ask those questions when I came to America. I dont know wherefore, barely I do know this have never happened to me before. Back in Taiwan, I was known as a cute micro miss that likes to play a lot, m each adult loves me by perk up them happy. I know I have come from a beautiful little island, which we all called Taiwan. I never thought about going eitherwhere out align of this coun hand over, until my father has already decided to start a invigorated-fangled adventure at America. He thinks this is a good opportunity for us to retrieve outside of the world, and learn some social occasion new form the out side world. But are you sure this is a right thing to do? Nobody knows, not horizontal myself.Socratic Seminar QuestionsI have no idea whats like to be apart from my country, I just know Im following my dads order, and go on to the airplane just as he tell me to. I l 1(prenominal) know few words in side of meat, like hello and good bye, or the most all-important(a) one rump. I unperturbed remember when we came down from the airplane, we were mazed in the airport, since my older sister have the best English out of all of us, my father tried to convince her to ask direction for us, save still she is also have never talk to any American before, therefore we are all dislike to talk to anyone.But we still need direction for our way out, and then we have the idea to consumption paper-rock-scissor to decide who wi ll be the one asking direction for us. This paper-rock-scissor thing has happen through out the whole first year that we came to America. so far we have already been practiced talking to native speakers, I dont know why I still didnt see any improvement of my English aptitude, and Im the only one still on the same spot as I came to America.I have never liked to talk to any American I know if I dont talk my English skill will never get better, but what can I do? I cant, just cant, Im afraid to make any mistakes or see other people make joke out of me, I dont ask to make fun of myself and let people caper at my face. I dont know what to do, what can I do?At the school, because of my afraid, I didnt talk to any other students therefore I didnt have any conversance. Everyone think Im weird, no one likes to talk to me, and there are even have some classmate thought Im one of the special josh they dont like me, and I dont like them, Im all alone. But is this what I really want? No, I do not want my life remain like this. I want to make some friends, be part of them, have some laugh with, and be happy. Dont walk away from me, dont become your face away, look at me and talk to me, be friend with me, but how? I keep asking myself to speak, to talk, just abrupt my peach, but why cant I do it? Why? I ask myself in a dark corner.After one year, when I know we are moving, and I was going to transfer to another school, I was so happy I thought I can make up my stupid mistake, and make some friends this time. By the time before the first day to my new school, I was teaching myself how to introduce myself to other classmates in front of my bathroom mirror, think that I can actually make some friend on my own. I was very happy I thought I dont need my little corner any more.But I was wrong. I didnt make up any of my mistakes, I have done it again. When I saw other students came to me, my mouth immediately closed up, and I only stand there and watch them walk pass thr ough me one by one. I hate myself, hate that couldnt speak, hate why cant I just do it, and make some friends. Im back in the little dark corner, I said to myself everyday, to talk, to speak, to make friend, but I never did it, I cant, not even I wanted to, my mouth just wont work. What can I do? I keep asking myself the same question again and again.Two years have passed my sister and my brother has getting better and butter in English, and they have make all kinds of friends, only I havent change much, and still no friend for me. uplifted school is getting closer and closer, only few mouth left, I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, but can I do it? I keep practicing my little saving to myself, will I make friends? Will I open my mouth? I dont know, but I will try. I will try anything to get out of the little dark corner.Now Im a blue school student, the little dark corner is getting smaller and smaller I have friends now, and I even have by BFF, and Ill occur t o make more friends. I do not need my corner anymore. But still, I will like to become more open like what I use to be, the happy little girl who always have a nice smile on the face, and make everyone laugh all the time. Even Im not a little girl anymore, to be happy or sad, Im still me, I may change over time, but I am still here. This is the new me, to get stronger and stronger, to overhaul other get out of the little dark corner.